The persistent, unsightly lump on the back of my right hand? NOT a spider bite but rather an organizational hematoma.
Insert "Bu-dum, Tsh!" after each of the below.
Well, at least your blood is organized.
Hey, a bruise! Now in 3-D, with no monthly fee added to your cable TV bill!
Why did your organization do this to your hand? Didn't they like your work as chair?
I thought latinate disfigurements were serious; that's just a big bump.
Hey, are you growing a spare brain?
Is that where you store your acorns for the winter?