Things I'd like to have taught the children already

Winton:
How not to wear a diaper, ever.

Clara:
How to swim.
How to ride a bicycle.

Both:
Beginner's dance. (We made our dance teacher cry 6 months ago and gave up)
Piano. (We don't have one)

That's not so bad.  It's only a 5 item list.  I feel much better now.
I am much further behind at work.