It was my birthday yesterday: I'm 42. I wish I knew exactly when my mid-life crisis was planning on ending. It's been years now, it seems. I crave newness and, at the same time, I am still trying to resurrect oldness (eg, I'd like to be a hardbodied 28 year-old ashtanga yogini again: not going to happen if the VERY sore muscles after a mixed-level sivananda class yesterday are anything to go by). Anyway: identity crisis post 40, post child-bearing, post tenure continues apace. Bottom line question: now what??
Clara starts Kindergarten tomorrow. She's in at Roland Park Elementary as of 6 days ago. RPE is a Baltimore City Public School at which most students feel safe, according to the recent "climate" surveys. Much better than the school we are zoned for, in which only 49.9% of the student body feels safe.
I am already desperately anxious that we somehow manage to get her brother into the school two years from now.
There should be a choir of angels, or hummingbirds, or trumpeting elephants or something to mark how fantastic it is that we got Clara in. People move house, at great expense, to attend Roland Park. Thank-freakin' whomever that we got in out-of-zone. Really. Very much. Thanks.
Kindergarten is, as reputed, a definitive moment. The small girl I live with, the one currently reorganizing the tent she has built in the dining room, is clearly a child, not a baby. And her brother (only 3 pounds lighter, and almost the same height) is no baby either. I'd like to note here that they still cuddle with me. I know it can't last, those small bodies cramming themselves onto me and pressing their blond heads against me.
I also know they won't always want to play "monsters" with me in the long hallway/ atrium between Bally fitness and Trader Joe's in Towson. But they did today, as they have for many many Sundays past. It can't last, but let it be hereby noted.