Friday, April 20, 2012

Remote Storage

Know how the online catalogues of research libraries sometimes tell you the item you want is in remote storage and you'll need to file a special request to have it retrieved?  Thus with my brain. 

Momosyllabic: "Dear Brain, I'd like to remember the word for caterpillar poop.  I know that this time last year I knew it, because Clara was obsessing about trying to keep caterpillars as pets then too."

Brain: "Dear Momosyllabic, that item has been removed to remote storage.  Please fill in the attached form and wait 2-6 weeks for processing."

Mom.: "I can't wait that long.  Last time we kept the caterpillar alive for about an hour.  I need to know before the current one dies, because once it dies I won't be able to talk 'pillar anymore for fear of Clara's grief.  I also can't google just now because I am trying to cook dinner, keep the caterpillar alive, and rinse out Winton's latest batch of urine-sopped clothing."

Brain: "Lalalalala.  Penis.  Lalalalala. Disraeli had an older wife.  Lalalala.  Katniss is not a good female role model for she is only celebrated for the ways in which she is a like a boy.  Lalala.  Wine."

Mom.:" It starts with an 'R,'  I think.  C'mon!"

[3 hours later]

Brain: "Frass.  And you're welcome.  You owe me, for this is far faster than my typical processing speed for such items"

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