Opthalmologist, sternly: "Well, your daughter has excellent vision, and is very good with her letters. But I should tell you medically that an eye exam without dilation is like going to your internist and not letting them take your blood-pressure."
Me: [Silence, anxiety, attempts to reassure self that opting against dilation for Clara's first eye-exam ever was a good choice, Silence]
Clara: "Let's dilate Ruthie's* eyes!"
*Ruthie: toy mouse and co-star in ongoing bedtime story series about adventures of mice Frederick and Ruthie. On nights when Daddy tells stories instead of Mummy, Frederick and Ruthie are replaced by Freddie and Ruthrick, imaginary camels at the Baltimore zoo.