Fishpastetartarsauce!

The above is Clara's "swear" word of choice.  It's quite good.

I'd like to apply it to mammography:

1) For there is no amount of smushing of my right boob that will make it show up fully on film.

2) And because I got called back for a second mammogram, not because they had seen anything but because the last one hadn't squished my right boob enough.

3) And then the clinic was far busier than usual and my visit lasted for an hour longer than expected, at which point I had to wage war with an extremely unsympathetic nurse in order to be given leave to put a shirt back on and go get my children from school.

4) And then the roads were far busier than usual and I drove sweating and swearing past at least 2 speed cameras that probably got me on film.

5) And then the only parking that was available required me to parallel park, which I suck at.

6) And then I had to sprint seven blocks, in the Doc Martens which have been eating my feet since I got them a month ago, to be at Kindergarten just in time to get my daughter.

7) And now I have a requisition for a follow-up ultrasound in my bag, so that I can plan to go back to finish what they couldn't get done today.

Fishpastetartarsauce, fuckers.