"Life is best organized as a series of daring ventures from a secure base," wrote psychologist John Bowlby.
Pussycat Interstellar Naked Hotrod Mofo Ladybug Lustblaster! | Derrick Brown
how silly i get.
how lost and silly i get
unravelling my fingers
to where your arms connect.
i come to your body as a tourist.
endless rolls of black and wine film in my fingertips
documenting the places that change your breathing
when touched with the patience of glaciers retreating drip by drip.
it reverses your breath back into the places
that trigger subtle curls in your purple painted toes.
the breaths are not worth hundreds of sparrows
they are worth all the gray air sparrows die and wander in
there are things about you i collect and sell to no one.
i journal them in a book you gave me with the inscription,
'don't leave your ribcage in the icicle air. something will break.'
i wrote about the courage my hand would need
aiming down the worn comfort of your hair,
hang-gliding across the summer slits of your winter dress,
searching the perfection in your rock-and-roll breasts,
stealing the heat off the drug of your stomach.
let me die a White Fang death
trembling on the snow and linen of your shoulder blades.
i want to buy you a black car
in 66 shades of black
to match the wandering walls of your heart
filled with the mysteries of space and murder in space.
let me spend my days on the shores of abalone cove island
collecting bottles that wash ashore
and burning the messages inside
to fill them with new messages like
"send more coconuts" or
"send more coconuts and wild boar repellant. i'm re-reading lord of the flies." or
"wow, I'm actually on an island. please send my five favorite albums.
i've already built a Victrola out of sand and eel poo-poo.
It's the MacGuyver in me. this volleyball won't shut up."
i will float the armada of messages towards the atlantic
and wonder if a pale girl in new york spends time at the shore.
i will wonder if she can see the stars i carved our initials into
when I got sick and weightless.
lay in bryant park and look hard into the air.
your last initial isn't up there
for it is worthless to me
since i had dreamed of changing it.
this is the love of mercenaries.
i'd kill an army of sleeping cubans for the rum desires
in the clutch of your tongue.
touche to your lips!
touche to your way!
touche to your ass!
you are an electric chair disguised as a la-z-boy recliner
and i find comfort in you.
my clear bones take shape in the mouth of glassblower with asthma
for there is no perfection in me
but maybe clarity.
crush me with the satisfaction of your black misted, unclocked breath.
i always come back to the secrets and wonder of your breath.
It is something for sparrows to wander in.
it's not that i wait for you
my arms are doors i cannot close.