There's fog in Baltimore this morning, and against it the forced chipperness of dropping Clara (DOB Jan 3 2007) at Kindergarten at a large, public elementary school seems especially discordant. The fleeting moment of eye contact with her teacher over Clara's head: did it, as I hoped, nuance my bright "Hi!" with what I really want to say ("thank-you, and please hide my child in a cupboard if someone comes to school with a weapon")?
I teach too. There have been massacres at Universities as well. How surreal, over-the-top, and yet real that it is possible to be a teacher, and yet to stand in a room which becomes luridly actioned with guns, blood and death. Recently I was required to attend a workshop on campus safety procedures, which included a harrowing video dramatizing courses of action one could take if there was a shooter in the building.
Elementary school children as the targets though. The fact that there is nothing to answer or explain why they were the targets. It stupefies.
For all of you who left a child at a school today: courage.
For the Sandy Hook parents and survivors: I know my upset doesn't help you, but I feel it. I wish it could help you somehow.